Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Hello, my name is Lora and I’m a Control Freak…

Hello, my name is Lora and I’m a Control Freak…

There. I said it. The reason why I share this is because I have a feeling I’m not alone in this. I’m not alone in the sin I’ve been meddling with. I’m not alone when it comes to not trusting God. 

I have never parted oceans, I did not create the starry night, I have never formed a planet yet I trust myself way more than I trust the very God who created all those things.

I’ve been brewing over the passage of scripture in Exodus, chapter 16, where the children of Israel had just come out of Egypt. They witnessed some of the most miraculous things and you’d think they’d be in awe of God’s wonders but instead they grumbled and complained about their current situation. Now that’s an entire different post you can read some of my thoughts about that here

But what I want to focus on is the part where you and I have failed many times before. When the Israelites woke up each morning, the manna would be like dew on the ground, and they collected it and prepared it for the day. If they gathered more than they needed, it would rot. God was teaching them to trust him for their daily bread.

I’m a goal oriented gal. I like schedules and plans. I like to look ahead into the future and try to set myself up for success. I don’t think that those things are bad but I do think that it became a problem when I noticed a hiccup in my plans drove me crazy because that meant I was no longer in control. I slowly went from happily sitting in the back seat of the car watching God take me from point A to point B to invading His space, to kicking him out of the driver’s seat while He watched me take the wheel because after all I knew better. Sigh. The good news is I’m in recovery. I know it’s wrong, but how many times have we subtly done that?

Gloria Furman says it best in her book Glimpses of Grace, "We have a problem with letting God provide for us. We have a problem with that in the broad scope of our lives — we’d rather save ourselves from our sin. And we have a problem with letting God provide for our daily bread in the minute details of life. We fail at letting God provide for us because we think we know what we need better than he does. So we go and take it for ourselves. I do this every time I don’t consciously trust him; I trust myself."

Since my “aha” moment I’ve been praying this daily prayer, “Lord I trust you for today. Whatever you have in store for today. Whomever you have in store for me today. I will not worry about tomorrow. Help me to live for today. Amen.”

This simple prayer has moved me to quite a perspective shift especially when it comes to my family's finances. My husband for the last 13 years received a weekly paycheck. We knew when to expect it and how much to expect. We are now in a season in our lives where it is about completely trusting God for our daily bread. Last year he started his own business which means we no longer have the comfort of knowing how much we’ll receive each month. But God has been ever so present and faithful. 

So what is it in your life that has you so wound up, so distracted, so filled with anxiety that you can’t see the miraculous of what God is doing in your life? Do you trust him for your daily bread?  

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

When We Forget What He Has Done

When I think of the children of Israel I think dumb dumb people. Not only did God send Moses to release you from captivity but you saw the sea parted and you walked right through it (Exodus 14:21). You ate manna that came straight down from heaven (Exodus 16:4) and come on your sandals lasted 40 years as you wandered in the desert. They despised the pleasant land; they did not believe his promise. They grumbled in their tents and did not obey the Lord. (Psalm 106:24-25) After all that plus more they forgot the God who saved them, who had done great things in Egypt (Psalm 106:21).

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. What a picture of my life. Time after time God has intervened. He has provided my every need and yet when fear strikes I forget about what God has done for me.

Psalm 106 continues on with a long list of wrongs they committed against God and many times God delivered them even when they were bent on rebellion and wasted away in their sin (vs. 43). But God is patient with us. He desires our fellowship. He took note of their distress when he heard their cry; for their sake he remembered his covenant and out of his great love he relented. He caused them to pitied by all who held them captive. (vs. 44-46).

So what is it your facing today? Don’t doubt His mighty power. Don’t doubt his love for you. Sometimes days will be darker before you begin to see the light piercing through, but don’t lose hope and don’t grow weary. Don’t forget what He has done for you!

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever (Psalm 107:1).

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

What if...

What if I took you on my journey of the last two months what would you see?

What if sleep came in batches of three hours through the night instead of a deep slumber?
What if dirty filled clothing and precious giggles were caused by mud puddles, snails, roll pollies and worms?
What if tears of frustration were brought on by tiny people called my children?
What if the housework is daunting with a means to no end?
What if the menu consisted of sandwiches for the umpteenth time?
What if relief came in forms of good coffee, a helpful husband, and an intriguing book?
What if a change in focus changed everything?
What if God used my weaknesses to make something beautiful?
What if I started each day releasing my fears, my worries, my drama, my weariness to God?
What if beautifully living was just that?
What if...